Monday Morning Halfback: Digging into Jesse Marsch’s post-game comments

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Jamie Ross is the Globe’s Sports editor; Cathal Kelly is the national sports columnist.

Jamie Ross: Cathal, Canada lost on the weekend, but the World Cup rages on with lots of great football left to be played. Why do I feel like the whole thing is over?

Cathal Kelly: Jamie, it sounds like you’re feeling the pain of existence. As a transplanted New Brunswickegian, you may be finding it difficult to be removed from the touchstones of your homeland – the sea, tractor pulls, Irving-branded gas stations.

It might also be the home team letdown. On the ground, a World Cup’s vibe is dependent on the host nation’s performance. While they’re still in it with a chance, the atmosphere is hot and getting hotter. Once they’re out, it starts to cool and fast. We’re into the ‘Well, I’m just going to get started on the dishes’ portion of the dinner party.

But don’t worry. Both problems can be solved by years of therapy or an LCBO gift card. Now I know what to get you for National Boss’ Day.

Cathal Kelly: Alphonso Davies's confusing absence costs Canada when it mattered most

I hope we can agree that Canada hit its minimum performance targets in this thing. Putting Morocco on its heels for a half isn’t nothing.

What’d you make of Jesse Marsch’s “I’d rather be us than them” comment after the match? He must have been talking about cottage life, right? He couldn’t possibly have meant the soccer?

J.R.: There has to be some context missing there. Marsch is a competitive guy. They all at are at that level. Winning is the only thing they care about, as it should be.

So it makes no sense to say he’d rather not be playing in a World Cup quarter-final. Is it more likely he meant that he likes the future trajectory of his national team setup more than the Moroccans?

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C.K.: You’re in a generous mood. I’m going to hustle home so I can get my performance self-assessment in before close of business.

I guess I’d buy your charitable take were it not for two things. This came shortly after he said “We were the better team”; and Morocco are the under-20 world champions. So unless they are building the next Canadian men’s national soccer team in an underground lab somewhere, I’m not sure how that works.

As us your questions about the World Cup and where Canada goes from here

I’ll give Marsch this much – he is a wizard at producing a polarizing quote. I wish every Canadian team were blessed with two of him.

How about Alphonso Davies making one 15-minute cameo in five Canadian games?

In your best German accent, imagine for me please the conversation the president of Bayern Munich had with Marsch as the coach was weighing whether or not to press his only great player, as well as his bad hammy, into service.

J.R.: I guess this is why I’m not the hot-shot columnist around here. Who am I to say Alphonso Davies was fit to play? It was a disappointment to see him mostly standing on the sidelines for two weeks, but would he even have been effective, and if not, why put him in?

Marsch’s handling of that situation did no one any favours. Saying he was using Davies as a decoy(?), then that he was fit and ready to go, to whatever number of explanations were trotted out post-game Saturday. Is the mostly likely reasoning here that Bayern Munich said “Nein?”

C.K.: It wouldn’t shock me. If you believe the reports out of Germany, Bayern dangled their lawyers at us the last time Canada broke Davies. Maybe no one needed to be told anything. Maybe it was all just understood.

That’s how it works at our place. For instance, you put ‘hot shot’ in front of columnist and I know you’ve decided to give me your office. You’re happy working in the breezeway. No need to ask. It’s a nudge nudge thing.

I’m with you on the handling aspect of this boondoggle. Had they not played silly buggers with Davies’s status beforehand, and had the player and coach not been at pains to put the final decision on each other, it’d be easier to buy. Were it me, I’d have announced the day before that Davies was unlikely to play. If in the end he was, what a lovely surprise. If not, oh well. This way, no conspiracy theorizing. Or less of it.

We were sitting together on Thursday at Portugal-Croatia to see The Ronaldo Show. Maybe the best match of the tournament so far.

You’ve seen a lot of great stuff live. Where does that night rank on your personal list?

J.R.: Sorry, I mean “hot shot” – forgot the quotation marks, added now for emphasis and in place of an eye roll.

But yeah, it’s been a year: a World Series, an Olympics and now the World Cup. In Portugal-Croatia, the stakes felt different than Game 7 of Jays-Dodgers, or the two hockey gold medal games between Us and Them, but that’s because there was no Canadian honour on the line.

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As a totally detached spectator, it was one for the ages. Cristiano Ronaldo commands attention like no one I’ve ever seen in sports.

I have a friend who shoots for one of the international wire services and his bosses told him to focus only on Ronaldo for the entire match, even when he was on the bench. Every time he touched the ball, even for a half second, the crowd reacted.

We’ve all read your column on the matter so I won’t bother asking what you thought. But enough about football for a second, did you catch any coverage of the Royal Wedding?

C.K.: Will you stop flirting with me? It’s flattering, but it’s unprofessional. Not where the other columnists can see it.

I assume you’re talking about the American marriage of the century, soon to be followed by the photo reveal of the millennium and the divorce album of all human existence.

Aside from the cheesiness of the whole thing, what I was struck by was its childishness. What would-be boy football star wouldn’t want to get married at The World’s Most Famous Arena™? And what would-be girl pop star wouldn’t want to scrawl her initials onto the billboards around it (‘JusT&T Married’)? Do they also write each other’s names on their duotangs?

It isn’t just MAGA. All of America is regressing into some teenage fever dream directed by Cameron Crowe.

Here’s a segue for you – speaking of people who were recently teenagers, what about Leo Carlsson’s US$18-million/year offer sheet from the Flyers? That’s half-again as much as Connor McDavid makes, for a guy who would be backing him up on his best day.

Putting aside questions of value (you’re as valuable as the highest bidder thinks you are), what do you think this does to the minds of the NHL’s best players? Especially ones locked into what are now severely under-market deals.

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J.R.: Some under-the-hood types may tell you Carlsson’s worth every penny of that offer, but I doubt it. It would make him the highest paid player in the league, and he’s yet to come within striking distance of 100 points in his first three seasons. McDavid had 100-plus twice by this stage of his career.

The inflated offer sheet punishes the Ducks one way or the other. Force them to pay a huge amount (and eat up a chunk of cap space) or lose their future star. Neither is ideal. They’ll probably match it.

What does it tell players locked into team friendly deals? I dunno, fire their agents? Build a smaller pool house until their next contract?

If the Leafs’ recent history has taught us anything, building a top-heavy team with fat contracts for the select few doesn’t work. So buyer beware.

C.K.: I find it odd that you would reference the Entirely New Toronto Maple Leafs (except for all the players most to blame for the failures of recent years). I for one have great faith that Nick Paul will lead Toronto to the land of milk and honey.

What really matters is that people are excited again, and that MLSE can raise ticket prices 28 per cent across the board.

We’ll circle back later for a one-on-one re: the office. But, you know, really appreciated. Your Boss’s Day gift certificate will reflect that.