The World Cup is expensive, but it’s our turn to pick up the tab

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In 2013, with costs for the coming Sochi Olympics rising and delivery dates being blown through, Vladimir Putin held a little meeting with the officials responsible. He had it broadcast live on TV. One jab at a time, he put the fear of God into them.

Akhmed Bilalov got it especially bad. He was the guy in charge of building the ski jump. Putin so terrified Bilalov that he fled the country. Later, he claimed to have been poisoned.

When Bilalov took over the ski-jump project, it was slated to cost $55-million. It ended up at $365-million, and that was the announced figure.

So, in today’s dollars, Russia paid half-a-billion to build a ramp in the middle of nowhere that was used once, for about a week, and now sits derelict.

That is a sports boondoggle. What Canada’s paying for the World Cup is not.

This week, it was announced that hosting our end of the tournament will cost Canadian taxpayers $1.06-billion.

In depth: How FIFA’s host contracts share the risks and rewards

Judging by the online commentary – a poor way to judge anything any more, given that the internet is now inhabited almost entirely by cranks and bots – people were upset. This sounds like a lot of money to them.

I assume these are the same people who stand in grocery aisles holding a 12-pack of eggs, swaying in place, remembering when this same item used to run them two bits.

I don’t love paying 10 bucks for eggs or $82-million to host a single soccer game, but the two things are the same – they cost what they cost. Nobody’s forcing us to buy it.

You don’t want to fork out for eggs? Fine. You can get your protein from lentils. Nothing like gnawing lentils first thing on a cold winter morning to give you that coureur de bois feel. Later, you can save on hot water by doing a snow rubdown.

We could apply the same logic to sports. Everyone agrees it’s too expensive. Why anyone would want to play host to it is beyond me. But since we’re not going to have the gang over every once in a while, I suppose we also shouldn’t impose on others. That’s the fair thing, isn’t it?

So no World Cup for us. And no Olympics. We won’t have taken our turn on one of those for a quarter century and, guess what? When we do, it’s going to be a hell of a lot more than a billion dollars. So let’s let that one slide, too. No more Olympics for us.

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When you start going line by line through the budget, there’s no international sports that make any sense. Why go to the track and field championships? We don’t win anything. What’s the point?

And rugby? Who even knows how that game is played? Nobody has any clue what we’re paying for rugby, but I think we can all agree it’s too much.

Let’s just cede all public sports to private business. I’m sure they will make the best interests of the Canadian taxpayer central to their planning.

At some point, it’s not about the money. It’s about where we see this country in the world. Are we part of it or what?

Are we the sort of neighbour who never wants to do anything, or have anyone over, or pick up the occasional tab? Or are we the fun ones who like having guests, and enjoy people, and want them to feel welcome? Because I know which one I’d rather be.

The world is getting meaner. That’s obvious. It’s easy to hide that meanness behind rationality. This is how we become a nation of cheapskates and philistines. We’re not mean because we want to be. We’re mean because we have to be.

We could do what we always do – mimic our next-door neighbour – and head off in that direction, since that always works out so well for us. Or we could keep doing it the way we used to, which I thought we all agreed was more pleasant. When people want to come over, we say yes. When they ask for volunteers, we put our hands up. When someone suggests a party, we say what time and what can we bring?

Editorial: The World Cup is a party, not an economic windfall

Will money be wasted? Of course. That’s in the nature of spending money. I don’t know anyone who can get a backyard deck built without a 50-per-cent cost overrun and something close to a psychotic break. Along with keeping us solvent and healthy, the point of a government is to, within reason, maximize the amount of fun in its citizens’ lives.

I want to feel like I am a part of a thriving concern. When you compare us to the U.S., this country is already lagging behind on every cultural metric. We don’t make enough cool stuff, and there aren’t enough people who are interested in the cool stuff we do make.

The answer to this isn’t to make fewer things. It’s to make more, smarter. In order to do that, you need a few illustrative examples of what coolness looks like.

They don’t make so much cool stuff in London or Istanbul or Tokyo because those people are inherently cooler than us (though they are). They do it because they are surrounded by the inspiration to do so. A rising tide and all that.

The World Cup is undeniably cool. Were I 10 years old again, I would be beside myself with delight at the idea of its imminent arrival. Exciting the nation’s 10-year-olds has to be worth at least a billion.

What a country this could be if all the energy we currently put into complaining about things was instead redirected to making stuff. Stuff, even intangible stuff, costs money.

Or we could save that cash and sit around on top of it, like a nation of bridge trolls. Every once in a while, someone shows up with an idea and we say, “No, too expensive,” and warm ourselves with the thought of all the experiences we may some day be able to buy, but never do.